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The Unknown Lands of Pandora is regarded as a "Multiverse" forum or a "Free Forum" meaning that we are not based on a single series, but rather multiple with our own custom systems. Each "Kingdom" of Pandora is another anime/cartoon series with other various sub series that make up the entire land.

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    Demon's Pyre DONE

    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

    Lineage : Legend's Trio, Frozen Wonderland
    Position : None
    Origin : Urban City
    Posts : 27
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    Class : F
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:41 am


    • Name: Demon's Pyre
      Type: Flame
      Usage: Conjuration
      Description: Most demon's are born with a natural affinity for a specific element and distinct color that is unique to each individual. Yet Hinatoru was an exception to this. Hinatoru acquired the exact same element and color of his deceased father. This type of trait is unheard of to demonic society making Hinatoru an outcast from birth.  Demon's Pyre grants it's user  control over flames and the power to heal when the users is in proximity  of flames . ( Note Hinatoru cannot heal the flames he originally creates but the flames created from his can )
      Abilities: Vanishing Fiend: Hinatoru shifts his body into a cloud of embers and vanishes into the wind this is a good ability for sneaking into secluded areas or on loved ones. With Hinatoru's control oer fire he is able to manipulate the embers that were made out of his body and send them into another space weither that space be near/above, or below him he is capable of reforming his bdy by collecting the embers into a pile which then starts a small fire from which Hinatoru can jump out of. Max range is twenty meters. This move is usable in battle with Hinatoru's first spell due to the abundance of flames that is produced  again the range is only twenty meters and no one can teleport with Hinatoru plus this ability does not deal damage and has a limit of three time per four posts within battle due to the concentration required .


    • Spells:
      Name: Flame Tongue
      Rank: D
      Description: One of the most basic skills for a demon is being able to exhale a cloud of their corresponding element. In Hinatorus case he is capable for breathing out a cloud of black flames at his enemy by first taking a breath of air the lets out a torrent of flames.
      Strengths:

      • Leaves an array of flames and embers in it's path.
      • If an enemy comes ito contact with the flames they will suffer burn damage aka DOT or Damage over time 2% over 2 posts.

      Weaknesses:

      • Is weak near water.
      • requires clean air to be used.
      • cannot be used if Hinatoru's mouth is clamped shut.


      Duration: 3
      Cooldown: 4


    Last edited by Hinatoru Shiba on Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:06 pm; edited 19 times in total
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Sat Nov 01, 2014 10:46 am

    Please Bullet Point your Strengths and Weaknesses.

    Also, your spell must be D Rank

    And include a Range on your spell. if it is contact, please state so.
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Sat Nov 01, 2014 12:15 pm

    Hinatoru Shiba wrote:Name: Demon's Pyre
    Type: Flame
    Usage: Conjuration
    Description: Most demon's are born with a natural affinity for a specific element and distinct color that is unique to each individual. Yet Hinatoru was an exception to this. Hinatoru acquired the exact same element and color of his deceased father. This type of trait is unheard of to demonic society making Hinatoru an outcast from birth.  Demon's Pyre grants it's user absolute control over flames and the power to heal when the users is in proximity  of flames . ( Note Hinatoru cannot heal the flames he originally creates but the flames created from his can ) Absolute control? No. Change that. You're F-Class. You BARELY have a grasp on it at this stage.
    Abilities: Vanishing Fiend: Hinatoru shifts his body into a cloud of embers and vanishes into the wind this is a good ability for sneaking into secluded areas or on loved ones. ( Hinatoru must be near a source of fire in order to reform without having to use his demonic energy aka hp ) You need a range, on how far you can vanish into... As well as more information.

    Spells:
    Name: Flame Tongue
    Rank: F
    Description: One of the most basic skills for a demon is being able to exhale a cloud of their corresponding element. In Hinatorus case he is capable for breathing out a cloud of black flames at his enemy by first taking a breath of air the lets out a torrent of flames.
    Strengths: Leaves an array of flames and embers in it's path.
    if an enemy comes ito contact with the flames they will suffer burn damage. ( Obviously :P )
    Weaknesses: Is weak near water.
    requires clean air to be used.
    cannot be used if Hinatoru's mouth is clamped shut.
    Duration: 5
    Cooldown: 3
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:18 pm

    there we go :)
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Sat Nov 01, 2014 2:04 pm

    Edits to your magic:
    - Like I said before
    - Bullet points.
    Reasons:
    - It looks super nice.
    - Also super easy to read and grade.
    - Also is neat.
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:28 am

    *Screams internally*

    Hinatoru Shiba wrote:

    • Name: Demon's Pyre
      Type: Flame
      Usage: Conjuration
      Description: Most demon's are born with a natural affinity for a specific element and distinct color that is unique to each individual. Yet Hinatoru was an exception to this. Hinatoru acquired the exact same element and color of his deceased father. This type of trait is unheard of to demonic society making Hinatoru an outcast from birth.  Demon's Pyre grants it's user  control over flames and the power to heal when the users is in proximity  of flames . ( Note Hinatoru cannot heal the flames he originally creates but the flames created from his can )
      Abilities: Vanishing Fiend: Hinatoru shifts his body into a cloud of embers and vanishes into the wind this is a good ability for sneaking into secluded areas or on loved ones. ( Hinatoru must be near a source of fire in order to reform without having to use his demonic energy aka hp ) range is around twenty meters around Hinatoru.



    • Spells:
      Name: Flame Tongue
      Rank: F
      Description: One of the most basic skills for a demon is being able to exhale a cloud of their corresponding element. In Hinatorus case he is capable for breathing out a cloud of black flames at his enemy by first taking a breath of air the lets out a torrent of flames.
      Strengths: Leaves an array of flames and embers in it's path.
      if an enemy comes ito contact with the flames they will suffer burn damage. ( Obviously :P )
      Weaknesses: Is weak near water.
      requires clean air to be used.
      cannot be used if Hinatoru's mouth is clamped shut.
      Duration: 5
      Cooldown: 3


    Spells:
    Name: Flame Tongue
    Rank: F
    Description: One of the most basic skills for a demon is being able to exhale a cloud of their corresponding element. In Hinatorus case he is capable for breathing out a cloud of black flames at his enemy by first taking a breath of air the lets out a torrent of flames.
    Strengths:
    -Leaves an array of flames and embers in it's path.
    -if an enemy comes ito contact with the flames they will suffer burn damage. ( Obviously :P )
    Weaknesses:
    -Is weak near water.
    -requires clean air to be used.
    -cannot be used if Hinatoru's mouth is clamped shut.
    Duration: 5
    Cooldown: 3


    ANYWAYS... There's no such thing as a F-Rank spell. You get 1 D rank spell at F class. BUMP when you edit.
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

    Lineage : Legend's Trio, Frozen Wonderland
    Position : None
    Origin : Urban City
    Posts : 27
    Sacred Shards : 0
    Class : F
    Level : -
    Experience : 0

    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:51 am

    Has anyone ever told you your very funny when you rage a bit XD
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:53 am

    *Waits for him to edit*
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:01 am

    There ya go chief :3
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:02 am

    You're going to have to specify how much burn damage is...

    And... yeah. We'll take small steps. XD
    Hinatoru Shiba
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:12 am

    there I hope this is acceptable my friend.
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:15 am

    You cannot deal more than half a D-Rank by the burn since the initial attack deals D-Rank. On top of that, your duration is longer than your cooldown, which is also a huge no.

    Edit this... and we can talk about your bulletpoints later.
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:25 am

    Alright now then let's discuss the bullet points
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Mon Nov 03, 2014 3:53 pm

    You deal 2% Damage over time, for 2 posts.
    Edit that.

    It's D-Rank, not C-Class. Edit.
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Mon Nov 03, 2014 6:08 pm

    Alright hopefully that is all that is needed
    Nameless
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    Shadowstep THIS IS MADNESS! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Demon's Pyre DONE Empty
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Nameless Mon Nov 03, 2014 6:12 pm

    No. You do not get the burn if the fires are extinguished. Nice try. edit.
    Hinatoru Shiba
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    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:54 am

    done
    Kaseki
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    Post by Kaseki Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:33 am

    You're going to have to elaborate your ability. Its disappearance, which makes sense... but at the same time it's very unclear. How do you use HP? What is the cost?

    Is this is going to be used like that, then it should be a spell, not an ability.
    Hinatoru Shiba
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Wed Nov 05, 2014 9:23 am

    Alright I believe this should suffice you need for under standing how Hinatoru would make use of his hp if there is no flame within twenty meter of his initial vicinity.
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:00 am

    Your cost of ANYTHING, makes this a spell. You're going to need to take it out completely. It doesn't matter if it does damage or not. Either you have some way to travel with fire, or you are using energy to travel. If you are using MP/HP or any means of cost, its a lesser spell, and should be made as such.
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:40 am

    -_- fine
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:43 am

    There are two solutions...

    1. Turn : "Vanishing Fiend: Initial cost of m : 15% Hinatoru shifts his body into a cloud of embers and vanishes into the wind this is a good ability for sneaking into secluded areas or on loved ones. ( Hinatoru must be near a source of fire in order to reform without having to use his demonic energy aka hp ) range is around twenty meters around Hinatoru. if Hinatoru is not within the twenty meter range it will take the current distance divided by five amount of hp in order to create a spark out of thin air by simply creating a small spark.)" into something else

    2. Delete it, and wait until D-Class to add it in. By having a COST OF ANY SHAPE OR FORM, IT IS NOT AN ABILITY.
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:46 am

    there
    Kaseki
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Kaseki Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:52 am

    ... Now what is the limit on your ability.

    How far can you move away? Can you take people with you? Can you move up? Can you move down? Can it be used for combat?
    Hinatoru Shiba
    Hinatoru Shiba

    LET IT BURN! Demon's Pyre DONE Empty

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    Level : -
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    Demon's Pyre DONE Empty Re: Demon's Pyre DONE

    Post by Hinatoru Shiba Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:23 pm

    Alright me amigo

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