No! I'm the best! (Cockatrice)

"Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week." Hershel said with a small wave. However he didn't say this to an adoring crowd vying for his attention like they were in his mind. Instead it was to an angry mob of people growing tired of the constant trouble that Hershel has been causing them.

"What's that? You all want my autograph. Sure. I just need you all to get in a single file line and..."

A few seconds later, Hershel found himself running away from his 'adoring fans'. "Geez... It's hard to be me." He said with a giant smile on his face. Without a single care in the world.

Richard was soaring between the crowded mess of buildings that was the Inner City, searching for new potential subjects to his kingdom. If his beak was capable of doing so, he would be scowling. He hated this place. The buildings all looked the same to his eyes, making it impossible to tell where he was going; additionally, all of the smog in the city was killer on the bird's eyes and throat. He was too proud to admit that this wasn't his place, however; he was going to master this place and find himself a proper subject if his life depended on it.

Suddenly, Richard's eyes caught a trace of some action going on below. The falcon dove down slowly, making sure to not hit anything on his way down; he couldn't risk damaging his royal countenance, after all. After he moved through the smog, he could see the action clearly; a rabbit, on the run from a crowd of angry humans. Perfect. He could scare the humans away and earn himself a grateful animal ally at the same time. Richard sped up, talons aiming at the face of the man at the front of the mob. The man never saw it coming; Richard landed on the man's face, clawing at his eyes while spreading his wings to their full, intimidating wingspan. With any luck, this would scare the mob away from his target, and he would have a new subject for his kingdom.

The crowd stand in shock as a giant bird suddenly dropped from the sky and started trying to tears someones face off. They then did what any logical person would do.

"Run away! It's a monster!" Their anger towards the rabbit quickly was replace for fear of the bird as the crowd ran for their lives. No freaking rabbit was worth this much trouble.

Unfortutately, while Cockatrice did manage to scare off the mob, his other hope didn't seem to come to pass. "Hey. What do you think your doing bub? I know you want my autograph badly, but you really shouldn't have scared off my adoring public like that." Hershel said with frustration in his voice.

With a stunt like that, there was no way this bird was getting a signed autograph from Hershel. Okay. Maybe just one. Just because Hershel is such a forgiving guy. Wait a second. Does this bird even understand a word of what Hershel said?

Richard watched with joy as the filthy humans ran away from him and, more importantly, his new subject. It was good that he hadn't been injured; any retainer of the royal Richard could not have any disfigurations, of course. Fortunately, everything seemed to have worked out in that regard. Cockatrice landed on the ground and turned to face his new recruit. He'd likely be sobbing with joy at being saved by the King of Animals himself, but Cockatrice would put up with it until it subsided. He was nothing if not a generous ruler, after all.

As soon as Cockatrice turned around, however, he was in for a surprise. The rabbit was...yelling at him? In the language of the filthy humans, no less. Cockatrice couldn't understand a word he said, but he seemed angry for some reason. Was it possible that the rabbit didn't recognize him? He rarely made an appearance in public, after all. This was probably just a big misunderstanding, one that he would do his best to clear up as a king.

"Fear not, loyal subject," Richard said commandingly. "It is I, Richard, King of the Animals. Calm down and swear your service to me, and I shall forgive this outburst." Of course, to anybody other than Richard, it just sounded like a series of squawks; to the King of Animals, however, somebody not having learned his language was unheard of.

Hershel just looked at this Giant Bird as it began squawking at him. A heavy sigh left the toons mouth mouth (which could be seen like on some of those anime) when the bird finished, not understanding a single word Richard just said.

"Oh this is just great." Hershel said annoyed, "A giant bird that can't speak English or Japanese or whatever language we're apparently speaking here. (I should really speak to the god of this world about that.) And why on earth am I even acting surprise by this. A giant bird is still just a giant bird. Not like everything from Pandora is able to speak in a language everyone could understand."

Hershel then paused for a moment as he got an idea. "Wait a minute. I think I have an idea." Hershel said as he pulled up a smartphone, "I'm not really suppose to do stuff like this, but we'll keep this between me and you okay." He then went online and clicked the link to ULRP. Then after a few seconds of searching, found the thread he was currently in.

"Aha. So let see. It appears those squawks were suppose to tell me that you were kind of animals. And that you want me to calm down and swear my service to you." There was brief pause before Hershel began literally rolling on the ground laughing. "Oh my Kaseki. King of Animals? Now that's priceless. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one. Well, I probably have a single nickel. And now that I think about it, that nickel would be pretty worthless here too. Perhaps I could just us it as some type of flipping thingy. Y'know. In order to choose between two different choices that you have a hard time choosing between."

Richard, watched, confounded, as the rabbit sighed. Was it possible that the creature wasn't capable of understanding him either? But that was heresy! Richard could understand if the filthy humans couldn't understand him; after all, Richard was so far above them that they might as well be dust mites. But other creatures usually understood him to a point, at least. Why could this rabbitlike being not understand him?

Richard's bout of questions was cut short when the creature pulled out a strange human device and began flipping through it. Craning his neck, the bird was able to see the creature scrolling between lines of human text; what was he doing? Richard couldn't read human, of course; it was too far beneath him to even consider learning. That left him unable to decipher the actions of the rabbit, however.

After a short while, the rabbit stopped scrolling and looked at him briefly. Richard stared directly into the eyes of the rabbit expectantly; when was he going to bow down as he should? Suddenly, however, the rabbit collapsed in a heap of laughter, human speech barely heard through the assortment of rabid giggling. Richard may not be able to understand what he was saying, but he knew when he was being mocked; the King of Animals would never let a transgression as grave as this pass.

Richard extended his wings to their full, intimidating length, hissing as he did. His body began transforming, revealing his true might; fangs began protruding from the bird's beak, and a serpentine tail extended out from his lower back. With his full intimidating form revealed, he spoke again, this time in a combination of cawing and hissing. "You have mocked me, and now you must pay the price," the Cockatrice boomed.

Hershel just stood there unimpressed as Richard began making a show by transforming into some weird creature that only a mad man could come up with. It then began cawing and hissing once more. This would have impressed the toon if only he didn't feel like he saw this somewhere once before. Maybe from a movie he once saw? He now couldn't remember.

"Woah... Cool... I guess." Hershel then replied in monotone voice as his full attention returned back to the phone. The scene almost resembled one where a parent is trying to impress a teenager to focus on their phone to care.

"Stupid refresh speeds. I really should have upgraded." Hershel then remarked as he waited for the page to refresh. Once it did, he read the dialogue once more before chuckling a little more. "Is that what all this is about? Wow! You should know that I mock everyone. Your not all that special.

"And what is all this anyways. Is this how you find a mate or something? Because I have to say that fangs aren't all that pleasing to the eye. I mean. You might be able to convince the 'Twilight' crowd to love you, but I don't think even they would fall for your serpentine tail."

The phone then made a small beeping noise, informing Hershel that he should check it out. "Oh you got to be kidding me. I just lost 500 followers on twitter for just mentioning 'Twilight'. Come on people. It's a pretty bad series. Get over it already." He didn't even seem to care about Richard at all anymore as he began playing with his phone once more. Trying to make amends with the fan girls he just lost.

"Why, you insolent little child!"
Richard was fuming. He had decided to show this rabbit his true form in order to instill some proper respect into him, and what was he doing? Browsing on his phone just like a filthy human! The Animal King could hardly see straight. For a lowly rabbit like this to simply ignore him like he was common rabble...It was absolutely unheard of. The Cockatrice would have to teach him a lesson in humility.

The heretic rabbit was sitting on his phone, furiously typing something or other. If there was a good time to strike, now was it, while the rabbit was distracted by whatever he was doing. The Cockatrice used his snakelike tail to his advantage, coiling it directly behind his feet in preparation for his lesson. The King of Animals crouched quickly before pushing his coiled tail against the ground, launching him directly towards the busy Toon's face. He outstretched his talons as well; if this attack connected, Hershel would get a faceful of sharp claws. Letting loose a bloodcurdling screech, Richard hurtled towards the source of his injured pride.

Hershel's ears nudged as he heard the bloodcurdling screech, and he quickly moved as the beast charged forward. It did manage to knock his hand however. Making him drop his phone onto the hard concrete, shattering it into a million pieces. Much to Hershel's horror.

"Do you know what you just did? Do you know how many fans you just cost me?" Hershel said as anger began to consume him, "I was going to let ignore your rude attitude. Yet seeing how your really want this fight. Then I might as well give you one."

He cracked his knuckles before turning towards the camera that wasn't actually there. "3, 2, 1, FIGHT!" Then at the instant he said 'Fight' he pulled out his duel SMGs and let them loose on the bird... snake... thing.

"I'm going to have chicken tonight."

---

Drew and Fired with My Little Friends

Richard chuckled (or at least, did the bird approximation of a laugh) as he looked back, seeing the heretical hare mourning over a piece of human technology. Was he really so small as to worship the humans' items like that? What a pathetic little-

His 'laughter' was suddenly cut short, however, as the bunny pulled out a pair of human weapons. While the bird hated all things human, even he had to admit that their weapons could pack a punch. If he got hit by that weapon, things could go badly. The Cockatrice lacked the time to use his tail as a spring again, and so couldn't avoid the bullets. Instead, the bird whipped his tail over his bird body, using it as a shield from the bullets. They still stung, of course, but better the bullets hit the scales and muscle of the tail than the feathers and bones of the main body.

After the bullets had struck, the King of Birds counterattacked quickly, lashing out with his serpentine tail and launching a spray of scales at the insolent rabbit. Whipping his tail also had the effect of dislodging several of the bullets, which alleviated the pain somewhat. As soon as the scales were out, Cockatrice readied himself to take to the air; as long as he was on the ground, he had a disadvantage, but in the air it could be another story.

"So that stupid tail of yours is for more then show huh?" Hershel stated as Cockatrice blocked his gunfire. The giant chicken then lashed out at Hershel with his tail along with a shower of scales. All of which hit, or at least seemed to have. Though should the bunny be shrinking like he was a punctured ballon?

On closer inspection Cockatrice would probably notice that the thing he had just attacked was nothing more then a now deflated doll. In hindsight it probably should have been odd how quiet Hershel went as the attacks were about to hit him. The rabbit didn't seem to be one who knew the meaning of 'shutting up.' So where did our hero go?

"Wow. Ugly a** tail. No brains. How can you even consider yourself to be a king? You have the makings of a high school quarterback at best." The egocentric bunny quipped as he unleashed another hail of gunfire from Cockatrice's side. Having used his stunt double to take the attack for him, he had quickly ran around towards the opposite direction Cockatrice's tail went. Of course this probably would have been a clever use of a sneak attack if Hershel hadn't had the need to make some form of comment every few seconds.

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My Little Friends Gun 1: 20 Bullets remaining/ Gun 2: 20 Bullets remaining

Stunt Double: 2 Post Cooldown.