Kagune [Complete]

Name: Kagune
Type: Dark
Usage: A Kagune is a ghoul's predatory organ and functions as their weapon and claws. It is usually as red as blood; and flexible like the flow of water, but firm and sturdy. When released, a ghoul's physique is strengthened, they are more resilient and their mobility heightens. A kagune is composed of RC Cells, which flow just like blood, can become as solid as teeth and can be described as "liquid muscles". The RC cells are released from a kakuhou piercing the skin, and the released Rc cells form the kagune. A kagune can be repeatedly hardened and softened at will by the ghoul.
Description: Kagune are liquid muscles that strengthen the physique of the user, and make them more resilient; their mobility heightened. The liquid muscles can appear in any shape and size based on the magical capabilities of the user, though despite rank, act upon the user's will. The Kagune can be used for defensive, supplementary, and offensive maneuvers, and can even take on a liquid form to bypass spells of equal rank (unless their elements are light and/or water).

Valin was forced into gaining this power as a catastrophe came about in his unknown homeland after a scientific disaster, creating ghouls around his household. Valin fought mercilessly during these times, though he was no match for the ghoul. The attack of the ghouls was overcome, thankfully, though Valin required urgent care after medics found his body inside the body of a deceased ghoul. He was placed in the finest hospital available, where an organ transplant took place. Under his conditions, Valin could not live unless something supernatural were placed in his body, and so the doctors resorted to the main organ of the ghoul that had devoured him. With this organ placed inside Valin, the ghoul and Valin became one, with a tainted eye signifying the presence of the demon, itself.

While fused with a ghoul, the components of his body went out of control, and his Kagune was formed. It began to attack everything in its field of vision, and gathered blood from all of its victims. The blood was immediately channeled into Valin's body, and he strangely found it delicious. Later that day, Valin attempted to continue onwards with his usual life, fearfully trying to complete his daily routine despite his current circumstances, though while he ate for the first time as a half-ghoul, he found everything bitter, and became sick from all he consumed. Only the blood was admirable, and so as a desperate act, Valin continued to hunt for it. The ghoul inside continued brainwashing Valin until he could no longer understand the importance of another's life, and simply devoured them on the spot. The devoured made Valin feel more lively, while his inner Kagune felt more settled inside Valin's body. Each devoured corpse further merged the ghoul with Valin, and made Valin understand the purpose of the Kagune inside. Eventually, Valin had committed so many wrongdoings, that his Kagune was mastered and prepared for magic.

To see how the Kagune is formed, please take a look at the Usage section of this topic.
Abilities:
- Liquid Muscles Size: Valin can have the size of his Kagune change as follows depending on rank instantaneously:

• D-Rank: 1-10 meters in length, and 2 meters in width
  
• C-Rank: 1-20 meters in length, and 4 meters in width
  
• B-Rank: 1-40 meters in length, and 8 meters in width
  
• A-Rank: 1-80 meters in length, and 16 meters in width
  
• S-Rank: 1-100 meters in length, 18 meters in width, and with additional magic abilities
  
• H-Rank: 1-150 meters in length, 20 meters in width, and with additional magic abilities
  

- Liquid Muscle Decay: A kagune coming into contact physically with the opponent (like a warrior's sword to an enemy's skin) affects the opponent as follows based on the rank of the kagune:

• Kagune Spell Equals Same Rank as Opponent: If Valin's kagune strikes his opponent physically, Valin's resistance against one spell the opponent uses later in the topic increases by 50%
  
• One Rank Higher Than Opponent: If Valin's kagune strikes his opponent successfully, and his kagune is one rank higher than the opponent's general rank, Valin gains full resistance against one spell the opponent unleashes later on in the topic.
  
• Two Ranks Higher Than Opponent: Valin's kagune can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and stats unchanged if Valin's kagune is two ranks higher than the spell used against him.
  
• Three Ranks Higher: Valin's can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of the targeted spell if Valin's kagune is three ranks higher than the spell used against him.
  
• Four Ranks Higher: Valin's kagune can deflect two spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of those two spells if the kagune is four ranks higher than the two spells used against him.
  
• Five Ranks Higher: Valin's kagune can deflect three spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and triples the stats of those three spells if Valin's kagune is five ranks higher than the three spells used against him.
  

Spells:
Name: Kagune LV1
Rank: D
Description: Valin utilizes his liquid muscles to expose eight spider-like spears from his back, dressed in crimson, solidified blood. The liquid muscles cannot be penetrated, though lightning and/or water spells, or spells of higher rank can bypass it. These liquid muscles, in particular, are used to boost speed, agility, and react time. The liquid muscles travel at 40 MPH
Strengths:
- Gives the user more advantage over his spell, resistance and defensive maneuvers
- Increases capability of movement as the eight spears can be used as legs
- The spears can make the opposition feel like they have been stabbed by a sword if struck successfully, though no vital points are actually hit.
Weaknesses:
- The length of these eight spears is only 10 meters in length, and 2 meters in width
- The liquid muscles can be nullified if they come into contact with a lightning or water spell. Spells of greater rank can also bypass these extra muscles
- While these liquid muscles are active, any damage from the rear is doubled
Duration: 2 posts
Cooldown: 4 posts

Alright, I'll grade this in pieces...

- Liquid Muscles: The user can willingly form Kagune in different shapes and sizes depending on his magical capabilities.

This is cool and all... but what does this mean? This is nothing really. It's just a "I can do this.... if I could do it" Now, normally two things can be done... both involving a super simple chart~
The first being how large you can construct your shapes, the second being what kind of shapes. (Please note, that if you break this down to two charts, being size and shapes, it will actually end up counting as 2 abilities.)

- Healing Wounds: Once per four posts, the user can use his Kagune to stab into an active wound, and heal it completely.

Denied. What this says is saying is that you can insta-heal any damage. Basically doing the same exact thing to heal from H-Class or D-Class damage. this needs to be expanded. But even in that state, this is a lesser healing spell. So either this needs to be "Recovers Damage, but not HP" or "Recovers HP equal to half his rank" or something. It's a good start, but very open ended. (and could lead to god-modding, which is punishable on this site.)

- Decay- A physical piercing from a Kagune spell splits the strength of the enemy's next spell by half, if the spell is of the same rank.

Okay, this is good. It seems like a boost on all your spells/skills. That's fine. But you need to explain this a bit more. The wording is a bit odd. Are you saying that if your spells hit another spell of equal or lesser rank, the strength of the enemy's spell is halved, and yours in cancelled? Or what's going on?

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Please bump when you're finshed~

(I think I actually made this magic on another site... odd.)

Finished with the edits

- Liquid Muscles Size: Valin can have the size of his Kagune change as follows depending on rank instantaneously:

D-Rank: 1-40 meters in length, and 3 meters in width
C-Rank: 1-50 meters in length, and 6 meters in width
B-Rank: 1-60 meters in length, and 12 meters in width
A-Rank: 1-70 meters in length, and 16 meters in width
S-Rank: 1-70 meters in length, 16 meters in width, and with additional magic abilities
H-Rank: 1-150 meters in length, 20 meters in width, and with additional magic abilities

- Liquid Muscle Decay: A kagune coming into contact physically with the opponent affects the opponent as follows based on the rank of the kagune:

Kagune Spell Equals Same Rank as Opponent: If Valin's kagune strikes his opponent physically, his resistance against one spell increases by 50%
One Rank Higher Than Opponent: Full resistance to one spell the opponent unleashes
Two Ranks Higher Than Opponent: Can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and stats unchanged.
Three Ranks Higher: Can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of that one spell.
Four Ranks Higher: Can deflect two spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of those two spells.
Five Ranks Higher: Can deflect three spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and triples the stats of those three spells.

http://www.unknownlandsrp.com/t358-application-guidelines-wip#1483

As an F-class, that is an insane size for the spell. But no worries, there's a chart to make sure everyone is up to speed. I don't know what you're trying to create, and I hope you can explain this to me so you can still have this magic. However, some 40m in length? The average D-rank spell reaches 10m max.

As for the second, I don't quite understand. Where is your Kagune going? Is it on you or your target? And if those are going to be the abilities, just understand that I will be grading all spells harshly, due to stacking of abilities.

Again, the usage explains what I'm trying to create. I have fixed the first ability for you so it meets your standards, but the second is self-explanatory. In fact, I left an example there just in case. Hitting someone physically is like a melee attack. If my kagune comes into contact with your body, this is when the Decay can activate.

FYI: I understand you grading my spells harshly, and do not mind it at all. Sorry if I appear mad, I just thought I was being reasonable enough already.

- Liquid Muscle Decay: A kagune coming into contact physically with the opponent (like a warrior's sword to an enemy's skin) affects the opponent as follows based on the rank of the kagune:

Kagune Spell Equals Same Rank as Opponent: If Valin's kagune strikes his opponent physically, his resistance against one spell increases by 50%
One Rank Higher Than Opponent: Full resistance to one spell the opponent unleashes
Two Ranks Higher Than Opponent: Can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and stats unchanged.
Three Ranks Higher: Can deflect one spell the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of that one spell.
Four Ranks Higher: Can deflect two spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and doubles the stats of those two spells.
Five Ranks Higher: Can deflect three spells the opponent unleashes with perfect accuracy and triples the stats of those three spells

I'm just trying to understand how your immunity to X number of spells work. Because from what it sounds like, you're GIVING an armor, rather than utilizing one. That's more or less it. That's what I'm trying to understand. It sounds like you hit them, and your target gets this armor...

As for your spell.. The weakness:

- The length of these eight spears is only 10 meters long, and 3 meters wide

Is stated in your ability, as well as seems a bit unclear... a 3 meter long spear?

I'm just trying to understand this all, as it seems all and well for a C-Class, but for a F-Class, seems like a bit much.

The kagune I possess is utilizing an armor, or defensive ability- THAT is what I'm trying to get to. Remember that the kagune is attached to my character, so I'm channeling power into it through my blood. If you read the Usage of the Kagune, that should clarify how this all works. With the chart, I'm saying that if I hit someone, the effects explained in the chart apply according to spells the opponent uses later on in the thread.

Finished

Approved.