The Real Mata and Me (Private)

Matatabi had been with her for a while inside her own world. It seemed like it would be a lonely, sad place, yet she never complained. However, she never actually truly spoke to Akira, which made her feel twinges of guilt. She was a busy woman, so she never actually checked on the feline. So, on this day she had cleared her plate of all plans and left Delilah to deal with everything else. Then, she wandered and wandered far out into the desert feeling the feline's power fluctuate inside her forcing an uncomfortable feeling on her. What was this? Guess she would find out.

She found herself stopped, frozen in the desert and decided this was where she would begin. There was nothing but sand for miles. There were no people to be harmed, no places to be destroyed, and nobody to harm her in the process. As uncomfortable as it was, Akira would sit in the sand, lay Nuibari across her lap, and fall into the abyss to her inner world. Except, it wasn't an abyss.. just.. darkness. Why was her inner world so dark? Where was Matatabi? Akira would wander the darkness, until a bright lighy began to show itself. She would continue walking, until she brought herself upon the feline. "Matatabi, why do you sulk in the dark?" Akira would ask exasperated looking at the large, balled up cat that faced away from her. "You ask me why when this is how you made it out to be," the feline would grumble. Multi-colored eyes would stare in astonishment, "I-I never did this. I didn't realize," she would stumble over her words before looking around once more.

The feline would groan listening to that of her now Jinchuriki and she would begin to slowly stand. Her multi-colored eyes would look straight into Akira's before she would speak, "You may not have known, but it's still your doing. There's no connection. There's no trust." She would sit as her twin tails swirled and flickered in the darkness leaving Akira highly confused. No trust? No connection? She trusted her enough to know she's not a monster. She trusted her around her people. How was there no connection? What more was she to do?

She would begin to pace thinking hard to herself and mumbling. Then, she would freeze. "What more could we do? This treatment.. it's.. not what I wish for you. I'm sure it's not what you wish for yourself.... is it? That's it!" Akira would grin at her large aquaintance before sitting herself down on the ground and sitting up straight. "Tell me about yourself." Her face would show excitement and joy at the thought of what it was she was doing now. "You wish to know about me? What particularly?" "Well, uhm, just.. everything. I just wish to know about you." The feline's head would tilt, "I don't suppose I understand. You already know what I am. My name." Akira would scratch her head before thinking some more. "Well, uhm.. maybe.. You.. should know about me then!" She would smile before looking around once more and positioning herself comfortably on the hard darkness.

"If it is what you wish, all I can do is to listen," the large, feminine beast would speak in her sophisticated manner before straightening up herself. Her multi-colored eyes were much, much larger than Akira's own, which only gave her all the more insight into her. Although she was considered one of fearsome stature and vicious, she wasn't all cracked up to that in Akira's eyes. She was a lady of class, a gentle giant, a scared cat, and something in need of protection. To Matatabi, this woman was her saving grace. This woman protected her and helped her escape the clutches of evil beings trying to use her power. They both remembered the redhead, but neither one wanted to remember her ending.

Akira would nod her head as she watched the feline waiting ever so patiently for her to begin. "Well, I'm not quite sure where to start. I've been hinted at not having all my memories, yet I'm not sure what I'm missing.. so I'll start with what I do know," her voice was soft, yet conflicted. Her body seemed to move ever so slightly in a way that would suggest something of restlessness growing inside of her. What was she so afraid of? Was she even afraid? Perhaps, she was just a bit nervous about speaking of her own accords. Perhaps, she was a bit frustrated with something. Perhaps, she was simply trying to gather her courage. "I was told that when I was born, my parents knew they could never love me," her story began with a shot through the heart and Akira believed she was to blame for it all.

"I uh, well, I hardly remember my true form, since I've changed so much. I've been told I was horrid, a monster with hideous horns and pale skin. I was born to look like some sort of demon," a small laugh could be heard coming from her mouth through her sadness. She didn't lie, it had been a long time since she had been in her true form and it was possible she never would again. She didn't lie, she didn't particularly remember said form; however, she did to a slight extent and she knew exactly what it was her parents didn't love about her. Akira would laugh again before continuing, "Well, the villagers didn't like that. They thought I was dangerous.
Can you believe it? An infant.. dangerous? Well, my mother was the only thing that kept me alive, but I never knew why. I was locked away for the most part, I was fed, but I wasn't given any affection. If anything, I was beaten on a daily basis. Her eyes would stare into the darkness and away from the feline as she remembered her father. His face, his anger, his drunkenness, and his abuse. He was always so brutal and never showed an ounce of mercy or compassion towards the small, scared child she once was.

A sigh would escape her mouth before she would speak again, "He resented me so much. He tried to cut off my horns one day saying he couldn't live with it anymore, he was creaming and I was crying. It was painful,
but for some reason my mom didn't like it. She tried to stop him and I was so confused. 'Why?' I asked myself," Her words would trail off as she looked back to the feline in search of some type of answer, but she wouldn't find it there.

The feline would sit still staring at the woman below her, whose eyes kept wandering about. She could sense the emotion and pain, considering they were inside her world that was attached to her being. The feline felt the weight of the world that was crashing down on this woman and she wondered how long she had been living like this. She wondered how long she had kept her story and emotion in. She wondered who all knew and who all this woman had her faith instilled in. She was concerned for her new jinchuriki, unlike she had ever been for any other. This woman was willing to open up to her to form a relationship with her and gain her trust. She was willing to share her deepest darkest secrets and she was willing to break her own heart with the retelling. She was being genuine and this feline had only thought she was tricked into submission. How she resented the thoughts now.

Matatabi knew what it was like to be innocent, to be treated as a monster, to be seen as a tool, to be seen as a caged animal, to be seen as dangerous, and to be seen as everything but good. She knew what it was like to be tricked and wake up realizing she was just trapped again. She knew what it was like to wake up to cruel treatment and then knowing she had terrorized people. She never wanted to do that, but it wasn't her fault and she had come to terms with it.

"I watched my father kill my mother and then I killed him. Of course, they blamed me for both of their deaths because they 'knew it'. But oh woah is me right? No, I didn't feel that way. I just felt anger, fear, and sadness. I just wanted to know why she did it, why he did it, and why I sat there and watched. Anyway, it onky got worse after that. Threats, apartments full of glass, my things defiled. It was rough, but it wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to me. After a while, it just kinda gets replaced, by other things. It definitely wasn't the worst pain I've ever felt," Akira was obviously having a hard time with things as they progressed. She didn't want to stop. She needed to do this so Matatabi knew about her. She needed to do this so Matatabi could trust her. Cat to woman. Beast to beast. She needed this. They needed this.

She wished she could tell her about a better life, about her glory days, but that didn't seem like the type of topic that would help their situation. Basking in the glory, talking about how great she was, and the like. It just didn't seem to sit too well. It wasn't something worth the bonding. "I don't know if you'd understand, but... Love.. it was the worst pain.. I'd ever been through and I'm not sure I could do it.. again," this time her voice had a moment of hoarsness arise within it. She wasn't ready, but she going to be.

Yes, it was love," her voice was solemn and her eyes were sad. She would shake her head as she grabbed a fist full of her hair gently and laugh. She would then run her fingertips through her short brown mess of a head before a tear would roll down her cheek. She would sniffle, wipe her face, and groan a little before she would look to Matatabi. "Oh, the first time I met him, he poured his heart out to me about his work.. our work.. he told me of the many reasons why he had created such a beautiful place. Oh, I was entangled in the beauty of his words, the saddness of the pain he felt, and I certainly felt accepted. When I told him I wanted to help, he threw a sort of gathering. Oh, it was grand and fun. Of course, I didn't want to partake. Anyway, as our business went forward, I began to fall for him."

Akira would smile thinking about all the things they had been through and done together. She couldn't help but remember the real, true, honest him that he had exposed to her. He was sweet, and silly, and charming. "Well, near the end, I had a little something special within me. I was so excited. I was so happy. It was amazing. I thought we could have a family of our very own. We were even looking for wedding things. Dresses and the like. I was living a fools fantasy. I lived a lie. He disappeared. He didn't say a word. He left and he never came back. I guess I just didn't deserve love." By this point, tears were streaming from her eyes and down her face. She still didn't understand what had gone wrong.

The giant feline watched the woman slowly break down telling her story. She saw the pain in her eyes, the hurt in her breathing, and the saddness through the tears. It was horrid and it was hard to watch without becoming emotional. However, Matatabi didn't understand the concept of love or joining someone on a life journey full of it either. She was a giant beast of a feline. Nonetheless, she would tell that this was something highly important to these smaller beings. She could see it in the way Akira's posture seemed to fold in on itself.

The woman still cried but silently. She still hated herself. She still acted as though she had nothing left of her being. Except, why? Didn't she still have a part of him? The memories too? "And.. your child?" the creature would ask lowly as she wasn't sure what to expect at this point. Soon though, she could tell it would be a bit more bitter than expected as Akira's tears stopped and ber face grew much darker.

"I joined a tournament for fighting of course. I got myself hurt. I wasn't thinking," she refused to stay it directly, but it was quite obvious how it turned out in the end. It was obvious that this woman had been through her hardships in a different way than Matatabi. However, she could feel that this woman would want nothing to be treated as she was. Pergaps, her emotional distress was the reason Matatabi's world was so dark?

The feline would stare at the woman as she was obvilusly done talking and Akira would sit as though she was in a trance. Her multi-colored eyes stared into the black abyss all around her. However, she wouldn't be allowed to be left alone as a bit of flame surrounding Matatabi would feed out from her paw and engulf the woman. With this, Akira would feel the warmth, the bond, the acceptance, and the friendship the duo was forming. "Do not focus on the hardships. Instead, focus on what you have and what you've gained. Your people, your village, your power, your place, you children, your friends, your experience.." the feline would trail off leaving Akira to ponder everything she had listed.

Her eyes were dark before, yet they slowly began to brighten. She would begin to laugh thinking about all the good things she had, as she had been so blind to it before. "I guess, I've been quite the lousy Mother yeah?" she would slowly stand to her feet, still surrounded by the flame. "Go on then. Mold the flame," she had become more sophisicated now that she was teaching. Akira would tilt her head before trying to use it as she did her own fire. She would form the fire in her hand, move it along her body, and extend it outward in the form of fireballs and blasts. It was much more powerful than what she had and it was certainly much hotter. As the feline stood tall and proud, the ground became a little more greener and the above became a little more bluer.

"Good," the beast would speak watching Akira work in her own way. "Run around me in a full circle," the beast would instruct now. Akira would look at her somewhat confused. Why would she want to do that? Well, she wasn't about to test the feline. So, she would simply do as she was told and she would soon realise what specifically made this so fascinating. Akira would find herself traveling at speeds unlike any other and she would find herself stopping almost immediately in front of the beast in a matter of mere seconds. As Akira would stop she would find herself stumbling and barely catching herself before she toppled over. Wide, odd eyes would look up in glee at this newfound power. "Wow. That was incredible. I've never run so fast in my life. This is.. wow," she would say completely astonished, as she watched the flames around her die out.

With that her inner world seemed to brighten entirely with landscape: trees, shrubs, sun, and other outdoor attractions that made it so beautiful. Matatabi would find herself lying back down, except this time she would find herself basking in the sunlight of the inner world. "I'm glad we understand each other... just a little better," Akira would say with a smile. The feline would close her eyes as she lazily replied, "I will not fear lending you my strength." Although it seemed like such a trivial matter, Akira knew it was her best attempt at feeling the closure of the trust they had between them. Soon after, she would find her way out of the inner world into the setting sun over the sand.

Post count: 10
Word Count: 2,727